For a season.. For a reason
A friend reminded me recently that some people will be a part of your life for a reason.. and it may be for a season. Now, there are two sides to every story, and there are definitely two sides to this statement. Let me show you what I am talking about.
Through my travels, I have met some pretty incredible human beings, ones that our paths may not have crossed or ever cross again, were it not for timing. Ironically, these are some of the people I wish would stay a part of my life much longer, and were it not for those brief moments we spent together, I would not have those memories to carry me forward and always remember. Sometimes those fleeting moments are the ones we cherish and remember forever; they make a lasting impact, even if it was for a short period of time, adding to the adrenaline and excitement of being in a new place with new place & experiencing new adventures. These are the exciting adventures.
On the other hand, we have those incredible human beings that as much as we want to hold onto them, we know it is best to let them go, knowing that they have served their purpose in our lives. This case was always the most difficult for me to grasp — especially recently. Everyone has family, friends, partners, spouses, etc. that come into their lives and they may be there to serve a short term purpose and leave. As humans, we tend to overthink and divert to the worst situations possible of why people leave our lives, which is definitely something I am guilty of.
Recently, I have had to say goodbye to some short term adventures of mine; some that have served purposes very near and dear to my heart — some of which I will remember and cherish for life, and definitely some of which I was not expecting to be shorter term. Part of me definitely wishes that I had not even taken on these adventures as they are causing me life’s greatest amounts of pain at this very moment, but I know they are the adventures that are teaching me the most valuable lessons — ones that will make me into the person I aspire to be. As humans who feel emotion, we do not go into relationships with other humans expecting the short term. However, when it ends, we are often faced with lots of difficulty of imagining what would life look like? feel like? It’s nearly impossible to imagine life at times, without these relationships. I definitely envisioned these were going to be some of my longer term adventures, ones that I could not see fulfilling my life’s purpose without — ones that not only made me a good human being, but a GREAT human being. When these came to an end, it was a mix of emotions — mostly betrayal, hurt, pain, anger, sadness, worthlessness, fear, and heartbreak. Honestly, no words can describe this pain that I am enduring and I know some of you have endured before. I hope none of you endure this pain, but in the event that you do — remember this: betrayal, hurt, pain, anger, sadness, worthlessness, fear, and heartbreak are all VALID feelings. You should feel these emotions, you’re human after all. Feel it, cry, punch a wall or pillow, hell punch a friend if you have to… but then let it go, bring your breath back to center at your belly instead of feeling those emotions all throughout your body — trust me, this actually works! (Don’t believe me? Give it a whirl & tell me what you think!)
I can say that my words have been used against me, I have been shamed, punished & degraded in some of my short term relationships — which is why they were short term. I was able to recognize my worth and know it was time to say goodbye, and although it hurts the most today, and it will probably hurt again tomorrow; one day I will wake up and it won’t hurt anymore. Until that day, I grow to learn something new everyday from these short term relationships & I am thankful to have experienced these adventures for the season that they were a part of my life — after all, there was a reason for this.
I guess the point I am trying to make is, for those of you who have been hurt and are scared to be hurt again or for those of you who choose not to feel because of the pain you have endured in the past: I know it hurts now, and it will probably hurt tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day… but try to see the silver lining in these shorter term relationships. I definitely made an abundance of mistakes in mine, and I probably will continue to do so— but I’m only human. Cherish the shorter ones, take the good from them, and if there was no good to take, well then GOOD RIDDANCE; and move forward. I know, I know, it’s easier said than done. Trust me, I’m still a work in progress myself. Some days will be easy, some days will be hard, but know that one day you will wake up and that pain won’t hurt as much.
Another friend recently taught me the difference between wanting and needing. I think this is a funny concept, as this is something they taught us in school when we were young, but when we are young, what do we know, really? We want ice cream, rainbows, and unicorns. As adults, all we want is to feel loved, cherished, desired, wanted, respected.. and the list goes on. We often feel that we need those shorter term relationships in our lives, once they are gone. But, you WANT them, you do not NEED them. You NEVER need what causes you sorrow and pain, and just because you want them, does not mean they will serve any further purpose in your life. Accepting that these relationships were in your life for a reason, whether it was for a season or for a lifetime will become apparent. People will make this known, cause at the end of the day, whether it be for a season or a lifetime, there is always a reason.
With Love, Yas