Lessons of an Era
It’s New Year’s Eve — and if you are anything like me, you cannot wait for the new decade ahead. I think I have been looking forward to this day for the last year… Now, I do not want to sound ungrateful but 2019 was not the greatest year, but I have lots of hope that good things are coming our way in 2020; I mean c’mon it’s a new DECADE!!!!!
Even though I am sick on the last day of 2019, I still took the time today to write down my intentions and goals for 2020 and the decade ahead. Now, I clearly cannot say that I will achieve all of these, but I feel hopeful that I accomplish anything, and I am setting my heart and mind to them.
An important lesson I learned in 2019 was always looking forward & never backwards. Life excites me more when I look forward to what is ahead and the endless possibilities and potential that await me. This has also made me a more positive person, as well — if one of your goals is to become a more positive person, then I highly recommend this. However, I do understand that self-reflection is an important aspect of personal growth, as well & of course I wanted to share some of these with you. So here it goes:
- Know your limit & set boundaries: This was an important concept I learned early in the year when I broke my ankle & let me just say, I hope to never go through this ever again. Breaking my ankle showed me a loss of independence and tested not only my health everyday, but also my physical and emotional capabilities. I always consider myself an independent person, but breaking an ankle really tested my limits. I had to understand that I was not invincible and that it was and IS okay to ask for help. Thankfully, this incident also taught me that I have some incredibly caring, compassionate, and wonderful human beings in my life — those who let me cry in pain, who laughed while I scooted all over the place, and those that drove me around and never left me alone. Yes, breaking an ankle sucks. Yes, I have scars for life that will always be a reminder of this. and Yes, it is okay to ask for help — definitely not a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength to show that you know how much you can handle before tiring yourself and not being the best you can be, for those around you — at the end of the day, those around you deserve your best, and YOU deserve your best
2. It’s okay to say goodbye: This was by far the hardest lesson I learned in 2019 — even more than testing my physical capabilities. It’s no secret that emotional wounds are far deeper and take longer to heal than physical wounds. By no means is it easy to ever say goodbye, but hurts even worse when it’s someone who has a piece of your heart. I look back and I don’t have as deep of wounds anymore, but it did take me some time to realize when it was time to say goodbye. Saying goodbye was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do, but also one of the greatest blessings that I have been able to receive — allowing me to look past the fog to see clearly what all was in store for me and what I truly wanted for my life, and all I can say is WOW! The view from the mountain is clear and beautiful as can be. It’s only natural to blame yourself when you end any relationship — but remembering that those relationships taught you important lessons and sometimes a goodbye leads to a better beginning. It is true: “When one door closes, a better one opens.” I have all the love in the world for those I have said goodbye to and wish them nothing but the best — not because I am forgiving, not because they deserve it, not because I am nice, but for me; learning that my happiness is not dependent on them anymore and should never have been. I am responsible of my own happiness and can say goodbye to things that do not make me happy — I have that right & you do too. Saying goodbye shouldn’t be saddening, just a reminder that you are growing and outgrowing certain people in your life; give yourself some grace and look back on those relationships with a smile & happy memories. You deserve it. I am ready to leave these people behind in 2019 and look forward to all of the growth and new relationships that await me in 2020
3. Happiness — The key to life: As a segway into the next lesson, years pass by… clearly. The older I get, the more I realize, all that matters, REALLY.. is happiness. Genuinely enjoying being in the company of those that make me happy, participating in activities that bring me joy, and not apologizing for any of those. Traveling, reading, writing, spending time with my gal pals and family, painting, laughing, are all things that have brought me much joy and have allowed me to realize the simple and smaller things in life. It’s essential to learn how to embrace your happiness and be with those who also have the same vision of happiness and life as you do — always inspiring each other to live life to the fullest, not take life so seriously, and be joyful. I hope you all take some time in 2020 to find your happiness and to set this as a priority within your lives.
4. Growth pains are necessary: Graduating with my Master’s Degree was an exciting, yet scary phase of my life; a reminder that adulting begins and the one constant in my life: school, was finished, for now at least (hey, you never know!) I was finally a big girl with a super big girl job that I loved, but the adjustment was by no means an easy one. Through working full time, paying bills, and having responsibilities and having to make financial decisions was a serious growth pain — and one that definitely smacked me in the face when my student loans started coming in. On the other hand, I am learning to take things a day at a time, and God will continue to provide and work His magic. Adulting by no means is an easy feat — totally different than what we imagined as kids, but one that has contributed tremendous growth.
5. Love the way you love: This concept is one that I definitely would like to work on in 2020. I always used to get so upset when I put in 200% into every relationship and ended up getting hurt at the end of the day. I never understood why I would continue to always give the most, despite all the hurt and pain I would endure, either. Through the pain and loss, I have learned to feel my emotions and not to brush them under the rug — to truly feel the hurt, to cry in my mom’s arms, and to write about it; learning that I would not change the way I love and show love for others for anything in the world; it is a perfect description of me and the way I love — deeply, affectionately, passionately, and going to any and all lengths for the ones I love — to expect nothing in return and understand that not all love the way I do, or depict their love for me the way I depict my love for them and that it’s okay. If you have never read the book that discusses the 5 Love Languages or at least taken the quiz, put this on your list of things to do for 2020!!! It’s fascinating to see how humans emphasize and illustrate their love for others in ways that others may not think of. I am confident that I am someone that will always go the 200% for my relationships, but I wouldn’t change the way I love for anyone, giving that love is a part of who I am and makes me happy. There are beautiful people that will make it known that they love you back and show you the love you deserve, and then you will feel it all was worth the wait.
I could probably write a whole novel of the lessons 2019 has taught me, but I think that’s enough self-reflection for now.. It was a tough year; a year of loss, hardship, tears, betrayal, deception, sacrifice, but also a year of tremendous love, happiness, adventure, growth, lessons, and laughter. There was no better way to close the decade and am optimistic about all that the 20’s have awaiting me.
I wish you all a happy, healthy, and successful 2020.
Big kisses xoxoxxoxoxoxo!!!
With Love, Yas