Worth the Wait
2020So far a total whirlwind — in the best of ways. In the first month of the decade, I have learned that being patient and taking one’s time brings some of life’s greatest journeys and views. 2020 has brought new adventures, a new beau, and a fresh, new perspective.
Ladies — Growing up with the classic princess stories who rode off into the sunset with their handsome prince is a tad cliche, but I think all girls envision to fall in love like the fairytales; after all you should always be treated as a princess. With that being said, you set your life’s course and have the power to say no when something does not feel right; never letting someone convince you that you are wrong for feeling or not feeling a certain type of way, not allowing anyone to shame you, and allowing that confidence to radiate as you should NEVER settle for less than what you deserve or desire for your future. Knowing your worth and understanding that someone deserves your love just like you deserve theirs, is no easy task, but most definitely worth the wait.
Having someone new enter your life or maybe someone that you have known your whole life takes that next step up in your relationship is a combination of excitement and nerves. The beginning of something new; new memories, perspective, and a new definition of love. Learning what and how two people define love can be challenging at first, but something that adds great value and a solid foundation of a great relationship.
I was definitely not one to speak in the highest regards about love — actually the thought disgusted me if you asked me a year ago. Whether you have been through trauma, abuse, or maybe you were just outright disrespected in a previous relationship should not be the foundation or level that you base future relationships off of. As a matter of fact, NEVER. and I mean NEVER base a present or future relationship (whether it be romantic or platonic) on a previous relationship. Understanding that you have been hurt, and believe me — we have all experienced that hurt before, should not be the baseline comparison. Learning that each individual is unique in their own ways; that they have either stumbled into your life or grown closer serves a purpose and a meaning. You have been hurt before, but you know better now to not let that happen again. You have grown, changed, and now understand what you deserve for your life. Trust me, these people are still out there.
Personally, I definitely was not willing to give love another chance. It had just hurt too much the last time. It changed me into the type of person that I loathed and I never wanted to feel that pain or toxicity in my life again. From there, making it my mission to live my life the way I wanted to live it everyday and not have anyone else’s decisions influence mine in any way — this was the path I chose to take. Through the process, you meet people that also add more depth and knowledge to your ways. Here’s my advice: appreciate these people; they add to your life and share the knowledge and time with you out of love. Finally on that day when you are not looking — it finds you.
By no means am I an expert, I just speak off of experience and observation, but waiting means respect and love and let me explain what I mean by this. I would pretty much roll my eyes every single time anyone told me I had to respect myself to find what I was looking for. Why did they tell me that? I was respecting myself all along — I was a good human: honest, kind, loving, and compassionate. It took me a long time to figure out what exactly they meant by “respecting myself”. I bet there are a good number of us out there guilty of not respecting themselves — settling for anything less than deserved, dealing with the b***$*** of others and always having to be the strong one or the one to say I’m sorry. This is what it means to not respect yourself because in each of these scenarios you are constantly thinking of the opposing party, but who is thinking of you? Respecting yourself means to have the confidence to understand that your decisions are just as important as others. It is okay to say no to something you may not agree with, to pull back from people that do not support you and uplift you in life — respecting yourself means have the courage to walk away from anything your heart does not desire, even if it desired it at first.
Now I do believe that these concepts go hand in hand with one another. Once you understand and are on the path to mastery of self-respect, comes love. Love is and can be expressed in many different forms throughout the course of one’s life. There is always room for more love and more I love yous. However, loving oneself can be one of the most challenging concepts for people to understand. It’s easy to love others because of the way they love you, because of what they do for you, or because of how they have contributed to your life. At the end of the day, I cannot expect any love in return if I do not love myself — well let’s face it, I am my own hype woman, but that’s always where I aspired to be; to be able to love myself so fiercely that nothing and no one could tear me down. This self-love was not instilled overnight, but took lots of reflection and positive instillation in my life, but has brought all the right people and experiences to my life, so it just goes to show that it was MORE than worth the wait.
I hope you’re able to reflect this week or month on your definition of self-respect and love. We spend so much of our lives thinking of others, and as great as it is to make others happy and take care of them; we ultimately have to take care of ourselves to be the best version we can be for others in our lives. I challenge you to set an intention of finding that self respect or self love and sharing it with someone special, and if you are waiting for something special — know that YOU and whatever it is you are waiting for are worth it.
With Love, Yas